Patroller Files, Case I: Big Green Jerk (Reformatted)
by Foobby
Summary: Kohlra, a nineteen year old Saiyan woman has just been given the biggest mission in her Time Patrolling career; Keep four psychotic super villains away from an even more psychotic bug man all within the span of ten days. Xenoverse 2 timeline- Rated M for Rape/Explicit Sexual Content. Language/Gore. Cell x OC. Towa, Mira, Slug, Turles, Chronoa, Trunks, Elder Kai, and more OCs
1. Chapter One, Act I:

Act I: An Extra Special Mission

May 17th, Age 767: Announcement Day

Kohlra knelt before her television, black eyes wide in horror as her mother sat behind her, crocheting in her favorite rocking chair. Their living room had yellow walls and a yellow sofa with red pillows, the rocking chair the same color as their flooring. A frail and pale woman with brittle blonde hair rocked back and forth gently in their chair, fingers working methodically to weave yarn around a needle.

"What is it, baby?" Brishe's soft voice called out, Kohlra still glued to the television- breathing shallow.

The nineteen-year-old Saiyan sat slack jawed like a little school girl, knees apart while she shook. There was… a man on the television, broadcasting from their local news station. At least, he looked like a man? He claimed that his name was Cell, and that he would be hosting another World Martial Arts tournament in ten days.

"It'll be all of you against all of… well, me. Haha. If none of you can win by either knock out or ring out, then I'll reward your failures by extinguishing all life on this pathetic dust ball. Need a little more motivation? No? I didn't think so."

The man laughed maniacally, Kohlra's heart dropping into her stomach. Brishe's ball of purple yarn had run out by now, her kneeling down into a wicker basket full of colorful balls of even more yarn.

"Kohlra, I'm talking to you." Brishe sternly reminded.

Kohlra clicked the dial on the television so that it turned off. Her mother didn't need to know about the chaos outside of their door. Her heart wouldn't take it well.

"Everything is fine, Mama. I'm going to go pick up your prescriptions though, okay?"

Brishe nodded, Kohlra kneeling down to hold her mother as she placed a kiss on her forehead.

The entire Earth stood still while Cell was on air, panic erupting in the streets. Parents packed what little they could, dragging their terrified and weeping children through the streets into their cars. There was screaming as Kohlra walked outside, erupting all the way from the city. The entire Earth was shouting out in terror, while this Cell guy was undoubtedly laughing.

Taking to the air immediately, Kohlra flew through the sky- her yellow camisole and blue jeans fluttering in the wind along with her long, waist-length black hair. With annoyance she brushed her bangs out of her eyes, thankful inwardly that she didn't have any neighbors around her. Watching her fly through the air while that crazy bug guy was on TV would most likely not fare well for her.

Soon, Kohlra landed in the forest to peek out at the city, her heart in her throat as she began to feel a strange energy approaching. Was that… her?!

"I was afraid that you wouldn't show up." A voice called after Kohlra- her own voice to be precise.

A carbon copy of Kohlra stood before her, clad in a blue training suit that she'd never seen before. Their hair was the same length; their nails were the same- but the other girl looked apathetic.

"What? Who are you?" Kohlra asked the woman, who began to advance towards her.

"I'm you." The doppelganger answered simply, brushing her hair behind her ears as she continued to corner the weaker version of herself. "Well, a much more well-rounded you. Or, would that make you, me? Gods, this time travel nonsense is really screwy."

The woman pinched the bridge of her nose and inhaled deeply, her cold stare resting on Kohlra as she shivered. Eyes traveled towards the sky as the other woman remembered this day in her time period. "I remember this day. Mom was making that afghan for our little cousin. It was purple."

Kohlra widened her eyes, barely able to get a single word out before the woman had her fist implanted firmly into her stomach.

Kohlra gasped and gagged. "I take no joy in doing this to you, but I have a mission that I have to accomplish. I'm… sorry."

Kohlra didn't even get a response in. The woman had grabbed both sides of her face in her hands and snapped her neck to the left, dark eyes turning white as her life faded from her body. Green energy was sapped from Kohlra's face as the woman absorbed it, closing her eyes as she took her memories and energy.

The woman sighed and cocked her hip to the side, a message coming in from the scouter she kept on her person. Well, the device had been like a scouter, but she had Bulma tinker with it back in Conton City so that it was like an ear piece.

"Kohlra? Come in, Kohlra? Are you there?" A male voice inquired.

Kohlra pressed her finger to her ear with a blank face, eyes scanning the area cautiously.

"Yeah, I'm here."

Trunks had been the one on the other end of the call, everyone watching Kohlra from the Time Nest far off.

"Are… are you okay?" He asked with concern.

Kohlra frowned as she looked at one of her many, many counterparts in time.

"Besides the fact that I just literally killed myself- yeah. I'm good. How're you?"

A cranky man's voice soon rang through the scouter, Kohlra twitching lightly.

"We don't have time for any of your sassy nonsense!" Came the Elder Kai's voice, screeching into Kohlra's ear as she winced.

"Chill out, old man! You're gonna ruin my ear!"

"Just get this show on the road before I send someone else in there!" He concluded, shaking his old fist at her from the Time Nest.

Kohlra rolled her eyes and sauntered towards her counterpart, still frowning as she knelt down. Her finger went back to her ear for a second as she knelt.

"Everyone cover your eyes." She said softly, Trunks and the Elder Kai questioning her with confusion.

"Why?"

"What do you plan on doing?!"

"I'm going to take her clothes, and I don't want your knuckleheads looking at our body! So, close your eyes!"

The men complied and Kohlra swapped outfits with her corpse, brushing herself off lightly before she extended her hand outwards. Blinding light built itself into her palm before she released it, blowing a small crater into the dirt. The impact shook the ground, startling the citizens from afar even more.

"What the heck do you think you're doing?!" The old man hissed, Kohlra ignoring him as a female voice peeped from the background. It was Chronoa.

"She's gonna bury her." Chronoa said sadly, chewing her knuckle gently. The boys shut up after that, and Kohlra buried that timeline's Kohlra before she bowed respectfully.


	2. Chapter Two, Act I:

Exhaling deeply, Kohlra flipped her black hair over her shoulder and smiled.

"Alright! Time to kick some ass! Where am I headin'?" She asked, the peanut gallery all shrugging their shoulders at one another.

I dunno. Why don't you try asking some of the folks around? I'm sure that they'll tell you." Suggested Trunks, the old man agreeing quickly.

"Yes! Head into the city and gather the information that you need and then move ahead from that."

Kohlra groaned, smoothing her hair back with both hands in exasperation.

"Yeah, I'm sure they'll love that."

"Hop to it!"

Kohlra launched herself into the sky and was in West City within minutes after killing her former self, her mind repressing the memory so that she could relapse into it later on when she was alone in the night.

Soon she had landed in the middle of the road, cars on all sides of her as she looked around with a stale expression. Horns honked at her, and a particular yellow car even tried to bump her with the machine.

"Hey, girlie?! Get the hell outta the road!"

"Hm?"

Kohlra's stare locked onto a man's car, her raising her fist as she gently bopped the hood.

Her light tap created a massive indent that forced oil from the engine, steam flying from the now busted car as she stared forward. A small smile spread across her lips suddenly, Kohlra wandering over to the man's driver side window. She gestured for him to roll the window down, but when he refused she showed her displeasure by flicking his window, it shattering as she grabbed his collar and yanked him forward into her face.

"I take it you watched the broadcast this evening?" She asked calmly, and the man nodded in terror.

"Y- Yeah! Why the hell do ya think I'm tryin' to get outta here so fast?" Kohlra smirked.

"That's good. Now, tell me- where did Cell say that his arena was?"

The man was obviously too terrified to speak, but Kohlra was doing her best to give him a chance to give him a chance.

"I- I don't remember, honest I don't! I- I-"

"Shh… Take a second to think. I really, _really_ need to know where his arena is. You see, I'm the only hope that your planet has left."

Her voice was smooth, threatening towards the end as her expression changed and her grip lessened. This was his last chance. She didn't have time to doddle.

"I- I really don't remember!" He lamented, Kohlra frowning with a serious expression as she brushed her black bangs from her face.

"That's… unfortunate."

The man didn't have the chance to scream as she pushed her palm against his face, using her Hyper Drain technique to gather his memories, as well as Cell's location.

It took a few seconds, but when Kohlra opened her eyes she exhaled and shivered a bit. The man had been a war veteran- recently retired too. She knew what was coming next before it even happened.

"Why did you do that?!"

Trunks hissed through the ear piece, Kohlra's cruel expression glancing towards the small device.

"I didn't have a choice, Trunks. I'm really pressed for time, as you can see."

Trunks grit his teeth and clenched his fists from the Nest, the Elder Kai and Chronoa frowning.

"You- you didn't have to do that! He didn't need to die!"

"Trunks." Kohlra began, her face darkening as she growled into the ear piece. "Enough."

An awkward silence came over the different dimensions, Chronoa patting Trunks on the shoulder as he fumed.

"How many patrollers have you sent to conquer this mission, Chronoa?" Kohlra's stern voice asked.

Trunks continued to frown as Chronoa did the same.

"Kohlra… I-"

"I am the one they call when things go wrong. And things have indeed gone wrong. I do what I must because it keeps the rest of you safe!"

Her voice had risen with each word, and when the other half of the conversation finally went quiet Kohlra pinpointed Cell's location.

"He's fifteen miles south east from the radio station. I will contact you when I get there."

Kohlra took to the sky once again and flew, frowning as she saw all of the fearful citizens scattering. They were all destined to die here, and she knew that. Killing that man in the car was scripted in time's scroll- she had just sped up the process a bit. At least he died for a good cause. She would meditate on it later.

For now, Cell.


	3. Chapter Three, Act I:

Cell's arena was flashy and gaudy, four pillars decorating each corner of the equilateral square of tiles. Cell stood in the middle, arms crossed and eyes closed as he just… waited.

Nine days.

Goku and the rest of his friends had nine days to ready themselves in their special chamber for him, and he was more than excited. Every time he thought about fighting with Goku he would tremble, adrenaline pumping inside of his perfect body as he'd throw his head back in voracious laughter.

In the midst of his thoughts however he sensed a powerful energy coming from the sky, his eyes widening lightly as he gazed to his left side. A woman was standing there, staring at him. He didn't particularly feel like indulging his curiosity- but then again he had nothing but time.

"Can I help you?"

Cell's deep voice carried, Kohlra narrowing her eyes as she copied his stance.

"This is the Cell Games arena, is it not?" Kohlra asked calmly, glancing around to take in the scenery.

"It is. But I'm afraid that you might be lost, kid. Either that or you're just too stupid to follow instructions. I said ten days, remember?"

"Of course I remember!" Kohlra snapped, Cell taken aback slightly.

She had spent months training for this mission, waiting for this exact moment to appear. She knew everything that would happen to a T, having researched the scroll of this time period day after miserable day.

Cell's lips twitched upwards in a small smile, him placing his hands on his hips.

"That's some confidence that you have, girl."

She interested him. All humans ran from him screaming, trembling when they even heard his name and yet here she was, just standing there in his arena with nothing but her guts and brawn.

Mechanical footfalls clamored against the tile as Cell slowly approached the girl, his face as stagnant as her own. Kohlra didn't dare flinch or show a sign of weakness as the monster approached her, keeping her power level in check for the time being. She was strangely calm, in fact.

Cell towered over her now, his footfalls ceasing as he reached his destination. Kohlra had her neck craned up to stare at him, Cell looking down with an expressionless face that soon turned amused.

"Look at you, sizing me up. You're fearless, and equally as stupid." Cell chuckled.

Kohlra's gaze didn't look away for even a second. She knew not to trust him, and to keep her eyes on him at all times.

"Hm, I don't seem to have any data on you. That's very strange." Cell said with charisma, Kohlra's hair blowing lightly across her back in the wind.

"My name is Kohlra." She stated finally, Cell shrugging slightly.

"You say that like I should know who you are." He sounded amused, but his amusement slowly slipped away when she smirked up at him this time.

"You will."

Cell stared down at the woman with an unamused expression now, his eyes narrowed as his arms crossed.

"Is that so? How do you intend to make a name for yourself here? Really, do tell! You've captured my attention for the moment."

Cell found himself curious of this woman who seemed to know him, and since he had nothing better to do then why not spend a few moments with her?

"I plan on killing you." She said plainly with a smirk, playing with the few black bracelets that were on her right wrist.

Cell began to laugh, shaking his head as he somehow got even closer.

"You really think that you can beat me, let alone kill me? You? A little woman?"

Kohlra frowned and Cell chuckled again.

"Oh, don't make that face! I'd say the same thing if you were male. The bottom line kid- "

Cell's voice darkened now, his eyes almost glowing as he spoke.

"-is that you will never, ever beat me."

It was Kohlra's turn to laugh now, Cell glaring at her with a light growl.

"Did I say something amusing?"

Why didn't he just off her? What made Cell want to continue chatting with this random woman? Perhaps it was his Saiyan cells flaring up, excited for a challenge. Perhaps he was just waiting so that he had something to do? He wasn't even sure.

Kohlra was on her toes now, waiting for Cell to strike her at any moment.

"Amusing? No, no. I find your personality to be cliché. The lines that you spew amuse me. You, however- do not."

Cell huffed and then laughed, his body and mind riled up in the presence of such a haughty opponent. She reminded him of Vegeta a bit, actually. Maybe that's why he didn't mind exchanging insults with her.

"Cliché? I can assure you that I am one of a kind. The ultimate, and only perfection in this universe. You've never met a man like me, girl."

Kohlra scoffed and stepped back, his closeness making her uncomfortable as she got more heated.

"I've met men like you, Cell. You come into the world designed by somebody else to step on the ones your creator's couldn't stomp on. Some are born into it, others are created for it- and then there's those who turn into it. They become bitter little husks of creatures, men like you. And you all have something in common. "

Her hands were on her hips while Cell fumed, teeth grit as she got him going.

"I've put you all down before."


	4. Chapter Four, Act I:

With a low growl Cell transported near her, swinging his hand towards her as to knock her loose.

Kohlra dodged to the side easily, his sharp nails cutting a few black strands of her hair off. Her keen eyesight and senses had picked up on his movements, Cell wide eyed as he stared down at her with fury.

"You're good at bluffing kid, but I wonder if you can back up that smart mouth of yours. Here, allow me to knock some sense into you!"

His other fist came at Kohlra, her blocking it with the back of her opposite forearm. Cell growled again, seeing his reflection in her black eyes. Those black eyes reminded him of something…

A flash of realization soon crossed his face.

Cell snickered and tore from her mere moments later, Kohlra lowering her arms as he backed up a bit. It wasn't a retreating distance, however. He was squaring up for a fight.

"A Saiyan? Now that's a surprise! You're the perfect specimen for me to test my new powers on."

Kohlra grinned from ear to ear, Trunks fretting from the Nest.

"What is she doing?! She can't fight him now! The ring needs to stay intact and Cell can't fight until the games start!"

Trunks was trembling with fury, about to press the communication button before Chronoa held his arm gently.

"Give her a chance, Trunks. Kohlra knows what she is doing, okay?"

Trunks huffed and the Elder Kai sighed, looking down at the scroll as he spoke.

"She really has a different way of doing things, doesn't she?" Trunks spat in defeat.

"She gets the job done, and she does it right. Doesn't that remind you of someone Trunks?" The Elder Kai asked, expecting Trunks to recognize the irony of the situation. Kohlra was very similar to his partner, Cauri.

Trunks nodded. "She's a lot like Cauri- only Cauri wasn't nearly as heartless."

The Nest's eyes all went back to the scroll, watching as Kohlra stood still.

"Test your body on me? But we've only just met." Kohlra teased.

Cell laughed and smirked wide, hands on his hips now.

"Don't flatter yourself! It is true I am bored- but not nearly bored enough to give some stranger suggestive hints."

Kohlra chuckled now, removing one of her bracelets from around her wrist. It was stretchy and black, placed between her lips as she grabbed for her hair and put it up in a pony-tail.

Trunk's eyes widened, him watching as the two took their respective fighting stances.

"She wouldn't…" Elder Kai whispered, Trunks slamming his finger against the communication's button.

A small beep distracted Cell and Kohlra as she groaned and let her stance down, Cell quirking his brow with confusion. He had been programmed with keen senses, which meant that he could hear their conversation rather well.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Trunks hissed into Kohlra's ear, his father's temper having obviously attached itself to his offspring.

"What part of do not engage did you not understand?!"

Trunks continued to yell into Kohlra's ear, Cell sensing her power level beginning to rise as her good mood fell. Her face was now expressionless, annoyed even.

Kohlra smirked finally, staring at Cell.

"In order to preserve your beautiful ring how's about we engage in some good old fashion hand to hand? No ki, no flying, and no destruction. What do you say, Cell?"

It was his turn to smirk. This woman- Kohlra, was full of pleasant surprises.

"As you wish, but what is a game without a wager?" Kohlra's eyes widened, her perking up slightly.

"Don't!" Trunks yelled, Chronoa and the Elder Kai looking at one another.

"My wager is this- "

Cell held up one finger at her, his index finger to be exact.

"The winner is declared via ring-out. If you lose, your life is forfeited."

Kohlra nodded, holding her finger up at him now.

"My wager is that when I win you have to let me stay here all the way to the Cell Games. Nine days and eight nights. Do we have a deal?"

Cell nodded, Kohlra smirking as she stepped forward.

"Shake on it." The opponents met in the middle and Kohlra grabbed his hand, a spark shooting from the excited energy around them.

"Alright, kid. Let's see what you've got."

"Stop!"

Trunks yelled now, his voice the angriest that Kohlra had ever heard him. Her enthusiasm fell again, cold eyes switched onto the earpiece once again.

"Was that an order?" She asked dangerously, Chronoa begging for Trunks to calm down before he blurted out the worst thing he could have yelled.

"Yes! It's an order!"

Kohlra's power level rose again, a rigid frown appearing on her face as she removed her ear piece and held it in the air by her mouth.

"I'm through being the Kai's guard dog. I put in the time, I shed my blood and I cried myself dry. The things that I saw and faced drained every ounce of excitement from my core, and it's not even close to being over!"

She glanced at Cell, smiling now as she spoke.

"But when I'm about to fight someone strong- I get that spark back. My core heats up and I feel alive again! I won't let that woman and her android puppet take that from me, too."

Her voice became meaner again, almost like a growl as she threw the earpiece to the ground, stomping on it as it sparked and died.

"And I'll be damned if I allow you to take anything more from me! Now sit back, relax, and enjoy the safety that I provide for you." Her eyes traveled back to Cell, who was thoroughly confused. "Did you hear that? Him trying to give me orders."

Kohlra closed her eyes and sighed, inhaling a few times to gather her energy in a more positive manner.


	5. Chapter Five, Act I:

"Are you ready now? Anymore distractions planned or?"

Cell asked snidely, taking his signature stance while Kohlra did the same.

"Bite it, bug man. Let's dance."

The two fighters sped towards one another, meeting in the middle of the ring.

Cell threw a slew of punches her way, his body turning to match her hips as she pivoted and caught his hits.

"You're quick!"

Cell yelled excitedly, Kohlra continuing to dodge him until she lowered her body to the ground and tried to leg sweep him.

Cell dodged easily, jumping over her leg as he attempted to drive his fist into her jaw. He missed by centimeters, Kohlra's eyes widening in shock. He almost really hit her! She hadn't remembered him being this strong before!

Cell immediately recovered and sent his other fist flying forward, Kohlra barely able to dodge it as she held her forearms in an X formation.

Cell pushed forward, punching the X of her arms as he drove her closer towards one of the edges of his ring.

Kohlra glanced behind her, the edge approaching faster and faster with each hit from Cell. He was confident, a smile on his face as he tested her strength. Her heels were close to touching the ground before she tensed her muscles and uncoiled her arms from the X shape, her speed shocking Cell as she jumped over him and landed in the middle of the ring.

"Grr!"

Cell charged her then, Kohlra charging towards him as well.

When the fighters met in the middle a shockwave of energy erupted from them, breaking the sound barrier as ki expelled from their bodies.

Knuckles hit knuckles as they punched, the skilled fighters shin to shin with each kick before they finally interlocked their fingers together and pushed. Cell's teeth were grit, but he was smiling.

"Come on, kid! Push! I know that you're holding back! I can feel it!" Kohlra snickered and grit her teeth as well, muscles popping as her skin beaded with sweat.

"You asked for it."

Kohlra pushed harder, using half of her power as Cell began to slide backwards. His eyes widened and he looked to his feet, cursing.

"What?!"

"Push harder, Cell! I know that you're holding back!"

Cell growled but continued smiling. "Using my own tactics against me? Wicked creature. You are denser than I thought!"

With that, Cell bent his arms to the left side and dragged Kohlra to him- slamming her into his chest as he wrapped his arms around her in an embrace. She knew where this was going.

With howling laughter Cell crushed her body, flexing his muscles to strangle her as she screamed. Black hair flew everywhere as Kohlra shook her head and wept, her bones beginning to crackle and hiss. This wasn't good.

"I bet you aren't nearly as happy that you challenged me now, are you?! What a terrible way to die!"

"Guuuaahh!" Kohlra continued to scream, her lungs almost giving out until her anger took over.

"What?!"

Cell watched as she flexed his arms open with her own, just enough for her to grab onto his shoulders and slam her forehead against his own.

Cell grunted and dropped her, Kohlra taking the opportunity to sweep him onto his back. She straddled him then, sitting on his chest while she sent punches left and right. She landed a few punches, Cell grunting as his mouth filled with blood.

Her hits were quick and calculated, him feeling her desire to win through her art.

She was good.

But he didn't plan on losing, so perhaps it was time for him to play a bit dirty...

With a sickening hack Cell blew his purple blood into Kohlra's face, the liquid coating her skin and eyes as she shrieked.

"What the hell?! Eugh!"

Cell used the distraction to his advantage and launched her up with by sucking his knees to his chest, pushing her with his strong legs as she flew backwards. He took that moment to recover, standing up as she wiped her face with her hands.

"You freak! What the hell is the matter with you?!" Kohlra screamed, one eye cracked open as she glared his way.

Cell was glaring back, his face disinterested as he slowly brought his wrist to his mouth. Cell wiped his mouth with the back of his hand only to turn it over to examine the purple substance moments later. Kohlra watched with confusion as Cell stared at his own blood. She figured that he hadn't much experience with his own bodily fluids yet. Ew.

Instead of freaking out like she had expected him to, his face slowly contorted into an amused smirk.

"Nice hit, kid. You've really got some hot stuff, huh? Where'd you come from, anyway?"

Kohlra finally cleaned her face off, looking forward with her hand on her hip for a second. She looked disheveled, hair every which way in her bun.

"You villain types are always so nosey." She whispered, glancing to the side as she remained in her fighting stance.

Cell laughed. "Well, I thought I'd get a little bit of idle chatter in before you lost and I killed you. It's extremely peculiar that I don't have any data on you, especially with your fighting capabilities."

Kohlra snorted and Cell folded his arms.

"It'd be simpler to say that I'm not from this timeline. Wait- Um… There was a me in this timeline but she was really weak. And there can't be two of us in the same line so I killed her and now I'm here?"

Kohlra stared absentmindedly and whispered to herself as she tried to make sense of the current and past events, Cell interrupting her when he threw his head back and laughed while extending his arms haughtily.

"I knew it! You are no hero, kid. That just makes you so much more interesting…"

He eyed her with an amused curiosity that Kohlra missed, her black eyes staring at him while his pink settled on her face. She looked so disgruntled, so uncomfortable but confident as he stared her down. Eventually she snapped and slammed her foot down childishly, fretting at him from ten feet away.

"Hey! Are we gonna fight or not?! Geez, I can't tell if you want to fight me or eat me."

Cell smirked wide, his adrenaline pushing through the normal threshold as he got even more excited and determined.

"I think that doing both would satisfy me." He admitted, Kohlra wincing lightly.

"You're such a creep."

"Yeah, yeah! That's enough talk! You've indulged my need for conversation enough, Saiyan- but it's finally time for you to die." Kohlra perked up at this, assuming an enthusiastic fighting stance as she bounced lightly on the balls of her feet.

"Bring it on, bug man!"


End file.
